Saturday, June 4, 2011

Sister Saturdays - Sabrina Reynolds

As I have been dreaming and thinking (out loud) about writing a blog, I have discovered many friends, Sisters I call them, who have a gift for words. Sometimes these gifts are shared in a well-written or funny article for our church newsletter. Maybe we hear beautiful words in a thank you note or a particularly poignant Facebook comment or commentary. One of the reasons I'm excited to enter the blogging world is because this feels like a community effort for me. And in honor of the community of Sisters who support me, love me, minister to me, and guide me, I am honored to share with you some of their gifts. Today, for the first Sister Saturday, I am so pleased to introduce Sabrina Reynolds, mom, wife, student, care-giver, spiritual director, fellow traveler, and one of the most beautifully creative people I've ever met.

Making time
         to listen to the instructions
         for the next task.

There is so much more around these feelings –
         these stirrings,

                     calling me forward,
                                propelling me.

NO catapults,
     just a gentle push
              to move forward,
              to move with confidence,
              and then
              to rest.

All that is done,
All that is known,

        only seen one frame at a time,

Occasional glimpses;
        Circles of light just big enough to contain me
                Until I see the next circle of light ahead;

         of what is yet
         to unfold.

-        Sabrina Reynolds
-        May 11, 2011

It is interesting to me now that I wrote this as a journal entry two days before my mom died. I remember sitting at the snack bar, laptop open, checking email, paying bills and reeling from Mother's Day weekend. My husband, George, was in Scotland on a business trip. The stress and exhaustion from a week of finals had overtaken me and I began to cry. Those tears drove me to write the lines of this poem. Sometimes it is hard to see where I am going even though God has given me very clear instructions. I remember thinking that all I had to do was follow the process. God had already made all the decisions. I just needed to remain faithful.
I hardly remember that week. It was such a blur. I was running on fumes. The only thing I had in the tank was the reoccurring thought that I needed to stop. So, Thursday night of "that" week, I took one last test - a 3 hour Astronomy humdinger - I returned home to my girls after using the last little bit of energy I had to stop at the grocery store. The girls met me at the door and shooed me on to bed after reminding me that I looked as exhausted as I felt. I climbed into bed, laptop in tow - I still had a research paper to write. In my exhausted state, I found it hard to focus. I began to think about blowing off the paper – Did I have enough points to take the hit and not do the paper? I simply couldn’t do one more thing.

I put the laptop aside, snuggled my wilted body down into the covers on George's side of the bed and went to sleep thinking that I would get up the next morning and write the paper.

 The rest, for now, is a story for another day.

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